Reunion
by Fullelven
Summary: The Warden Commander had loved Cullen for years...never expected it back. Still, her heart held on, and it took some time to reprogram it when she met Nathaniel Howe. A mission to Kirkwall though forces an early reunion that will send everything crumbling


**Title: **Reunion

**Chapter: **1

**Summary:** It'd been years since the Warden-Commander had seen Cullen. When she'd left the Circle, he'd hated mages, twisted by Uldred's torture. Knowing his commitment to the Maker, especially now, would never be broken, Kaela forced herself to move on. Nathaniel knew he played second fiddle, but they worked to get her past her feelings...until a chance reunion in Kirkwall brought every single one of them back.

**Disclaimer:** I own only Kaela, all other stuff is (c) Bioware!

A lyrium bomb could have gone off, and I wouldn't have batted an eye.

There were a lot of things I was good at, but subtlety was not one of them. For all the magic in the world, I was about as blunt as a dwarven warhammer. Emotion was something that I could hide behind jokes and sarcasm, but even after these few years, this remained my one Achilles' heel. I stood there, rooted to the ground, heart pounding in my tapered ears.

What was Cullen doing in Kirkwall?

"Commander?"

The voice came insistent through my thoughts, as it I'd missed the first couple times it'd addressed me. I opened my mouth, though instead of words escaping, the breath I had been unknowingly holding did. I glanced around to the Wardens with me, thankful that Nathaniel hadn't come. This was not something he needed from me, not something he deserved. Not after everything we'd fought so hard to work through.

"Are you feeling alright?"

No.

"I'm fine. Why don't you all return to The Hanged Man," I looked the group, trying to mask my face. Swallowing hard, I retreated like a coward into that familiar facade of mine. "You all will be bored to tears with Templar formalities! More Harrowing than the Fade, all that smiting and self-flagellation you know. I can take it from here."

They hesitated, and I knew I could add horrible liar to my great list of things that I was bad at. They knew there was an order disguised in that humor though, and they did as I asked. As they disappeared from view, I chanced a look over my shoulder with hopes that he'd moved on...but he hadn't. In fact, I could swear he was staring back at me with those copper-toned eyes.

Darkspawn? Easy to face down. Star-crossed lover? Not so much.

I may have been walking through the courtyard of the Gallows, but I saw the Circle Tower in Ferelden all over again. Those dusty stone floors littered with corruption, blood, and corpses...Cullen locked away in that magical prison. The hatred, the fear, when he looked upon me. The betrayal...my breath hitched. Creators, what was I doing? I had to be the last person he wanted to see. The things Uldred had done...the unspeakable taunting at the use of my form...

I turned to leave. No...not leave. _Flee_. One step, two, three...I would have gone further, but a gauntleted hand touched my shoulder so gently, it was as if they feared they'd break me. I closed my eyes, my breathing fast. I clutched my fists. I could stay strong so long as he didn't speak.

"Kaela?"

My name, spoken as if from the lips of a Spirit of Innocence. All those emotions I'd worked so hard to bury so that I could let Nathaniel in spilled out, tearing down every wall I'd erected to hide them. I couldn't turn around. Not yet. I needed to regain myself.

But he wasn't going to give me that chance. He was moving around me with a confidence that I hadn't known from him before. Then he was staring down at me, a halo produced around him from where he blocked the sun. Fitting. So fitting from my angel.

"Do you remember me?"

"How could I forget you, Cullen?"

My voice was hoarse with restrained emotions, and by the way he looked at me, I could see the concern. But that was it. Only concern. Not the lovesick man I remembered, but a concerned friend. I swallowed hard.

"What are you doing in Kirkwall?"

I forced a smile. "Wouldn't you know it, I join the Grey Wardens, and I become Commander and Arlessa of Amaranthine." Awkward laugh. "A Dalish mage, and Grey Warden, an Arlessa now. How ridiculous is that?" Poor attempt at humor, I felt so exposed there with him. It'd been years, nothing had happened then. There was nothing between us other than fabricated wishes, and hapless dreams.

"It does seem rather unorthodox, but I've heard there's been many changes in Ferelden since the Circle gained autonomy." The disapproval there, though small, sounded so strange to me. I don't know why I thought his opinion would have changed since the events at the tower. "I'm Knight-Captain now," he offered a change of direction as if he could sense a tension on the subject. "I serve directly under Knight-Commander Meredith now."

Really? Knight-Captain? That...was unexpected, especially since I had been given orders to speak with the Knight-Captain about recruiting... "Heh, we've come a long way from when we first met." I chanced a look at him then, nostalgia running over me. "Remember when we first met?"

He smiled, almost instantly, and I knew he did. "That poor apprentice that you were mercilessly beating on?"

"He was making fun of Tavia! I can't count how many times I went to town on someone for bad talking her or Jowan!"

"No Templar wanted to come after you, you were an absolute terror."

I laughed. A genuine, real laugh that threatened to make my stomach hurt. It was only made better when he joined in. Creators I missed him. "You were the only one who could calm me down without getting yourself hurt. You just...you just had to-"

"Kaela?"

I felt the tear slide down my cheek before I'd realized my eyes had clouded up at all. I swallowed hard, trying my damnedest to force them back down, but it was too late. The dam had been broken, and years of carefully guarded emotion came breaking free with no intent of stopping at all. I turned my back to him, wiping them furiously with the back of my hand. When did I become so weak?

"I'm sorry, Cullen. I-I shouldn't have...I just..."

He grabbed my hand, I didn't see where he was leading. It wasn't far we could have gone, but soon I heard the sound of armor scraping against itself as he bent down before me. "Look at me." I couldn't. "Kaela, _please_."

Creators...that plea! I met those copper eyes of his, and my heart stopped. There was something there, familiar, though I was sure wishful thinking had placed it there. I wanted to kiss him, to tell him I loved him, that I've never wanted anything more than to be with him. But I opened my mouth, and no sound came out. I swallowed hard. He was right there, right in front of me, alone, out of eyeshot of anyone. Why couldn't I get the courage to just _speak_?

"I'm sorry."

Sorry? "What?"

He shook his head, and took my other hand, still kneeling before me. "Maker's breath, Kaela...have you been...all this time?" He didn't have to elaborate. I knew what he meant.

I nodded slowly, cautiously, trying to read his face. There was a faint blush to his cheeks, his palms were suddenly damp in mine. He just gazed into my eyes, I his. My heart was in my throat. I knew he could feel my hands trembling in his, maybe that's why he gripped them tighter.

And then my mind blanked.

I hadn't seen it coming, hadn't even thought it was a possibility, and yet here I was in some back alley of the Gallows kissing the man I'd loved since I was a teenager. I hadn't responded immediately, not until I got my wits about me, but then I had a hand on his cheek, another on the back of his neck, and both of his arms wrapped around me. For someone who'd probably not kissed a girl in his life, I had no complaints for him.

Then he was pulling away, and I caught myself against the wall. His cheeks were flushed so red...I know mine were too. I wanted to grab him again...kiss him once more.

"Kaela?"

Cullen had turned first, startled by the voice, heart hoping it wasn't a templar. I recognized the voice though, the minute my name left his lips.

"Nate..."


End file.
